Funny Quotes
If she were a president, she’d be Baberham Lincoln.
Garth Brooks
If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, just try missing a couple of payments.
Earl Wilson
Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.
Bill McGlashen
I’m great in bed; I can sleep for days.
Unknown
Of course I’m not perfect; there’s a crack in my ass!
Unknown
I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of my life; if I die next Tuesday.
Unknown
Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning, the devil says, ‘Oh crap, she’s up.’
Unknown
Silence is golden; duct tape is silver.
Unknown
I’m so broke, I can’t even pay attention.
Unknown
Friendship is like peeing your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel it.
Unknown
