Funny Quotes
Home » Funny Quotes (32 Quotes)“I am sorry for those that disagree with me because I know that they are wrong.” — Woodrow Wilson (president)
Next time your girl wants you to take her somewhere expensive, take her to the gas station, almost 5.00/gallon.
Unknown“I stay up late every night and realize it’s a bad idea every morning.” — Unknown
“They keep saying the right person will come along. I think mine was hit by a truck…” — Unknown
“I’ve realized you can use a fork as a spoon if you use it rapidly enough.” — John Mayer
“If I were a bird, I’d fly straight into a ceiling fan.” — Red (That 70’s Show)
Most people are only alive because it’s illegal to shoot them.
Unknown“Wouldn’t it be nice if the world was flat? That way we could just push off the people we don’t like.” — Unknown
“The two best times to keep your mouth shut are when you’re swimming and when you’re angry.” — Unknown
“I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” — Douglas Adams
