28+ Funny Ron Swanson Quotes & Saings

Ron Swanson is a fictional character from comedy TV show Parks and Recreation. These are best Ron Swanson quotes (about yoga, love, work..) that inspire us. See more ideas about inspirational quotes and Sayings on MindBootstrap.

Ron Swanson quotes about food

What’s gonna happen? A vegan is gonna physically attack me? They are basically made of glass.

Clear alcohols are for rich women on diets.

You’ve accidentally given me the food. That my food eats.

I enjoy government functions like I enjoy getting kicked in the nuggets with a steel-toe boot, but this hotel always serves bacon-wrapped shrimp. That’s my number one favorite food wrapped around my number three favorite food. I’d go to a banquet in honor of those Somali pirates if they served bacon-wrapped shrimp. Excuse me.

Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Wait…wait. I worry what you just heard was: Give me a lot of bacon and eggs. What I said was: Give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Do you understand?

When I eat, it is the food that is scared.

There’s only one thing I hate more than lying: skim milk. Which is water that’s lying about being milk.

Ron Swanson quotes about yoga

Fishing relaxes me. It’s like yoga, except I still get to kill something.

Do you have any history of mental illness in your family?

I have an uncle who does yoga.

Ron Swanson quotes about work

I like Tom. He doesn’t do a lot of work around here. He shows zero initiative. He’s not a team player.

He’s never wanted to go that extra mile. Tom is exactly what I’m looking for in a government employee.

It’s always a good idea to demonstrate to coworkers that you are capable of withstanding a tremendous amount of pain.

I got my first job when I was 9. Worked at a sheet metal factory. In two weeks, I was running the floor. Child labor laws are ruining this country.

The government should not prop up a failed business. That would be like giving food to a mortally wounded animal instead of slitting its throat and properly utilizing its meat and pelt.

Whatever happened to “Hey, I have some apples, would you like to buy them?”
“Yes, thank you!”
That’s as complicated as it should be to open a business in this country

Normally, if given a choice between doing something and nothing, I choose to do nothing. But I will do something if it helps someone else do nothing. I’d work all night if it meant nothing got done.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Don’t teach him how to fish and you feed yourself. He’s a grown man. Fishing’s not that hard.

Intensity: Give 100%. 110% is impossible. Only idiots recommend that.

Ron Swanson quotes about love

If you don’t believe in love. What’s the point of living?

Related: Love Quotes

Ron Swanson quotes about life

Never half-ass two things whole-ass one thing.

I also think it’s pointless for a human to paint scenes of nature when they can go outside and stand in it.

There are only three ways to motivate people: money, fear, and hunger.

Related: Life Quotes

Conclusion

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