75+ Best Sarcastic Quotes & Sayings About Love, Life

best sarcastic quotes & sarcasm sayings

Below are 75+ best Sarcastic quotes and sarcasm sayings that we’ve gathered to help you enjoy everyday. See more funny quotes and Sayings on MindBootstrap.


Sarcastic quotes about love


Not everybody has to love me. I can’t force you to have good taste. tweet


A man can be happy with any women, as long as he does not love her. tweet


What’s a queen without her king? Well, historically, better. tweet


Once upon a time, there was a boy and a girl who both loved each other. Then a slut came along and ruined everything. The end. tweet


I love you. You annoy me more than I ever thought possible. But I want to spend every irritating minute with you. tweet


Love is a blind whore with mental disease and no sense of humor. tweet


Related: Love Quotes

Sarcastic quotes about life lessons


Everyone has the right to be stupid. But you’re abusing the privilege. tweet


Some times you fall before you fly. In my case I had to stumble in the dark, fall on my face and get up again. Only to walk into the wall. tweet


Some people are so poor that all they have is money. tweet


We’re all in the same game; Just different levels. Dealing with the same hell; just different devils. tweet


Don’t worry about what I’m doing. Worry about why you’re worried about what I’m doing. tweet


Wake up thirsty at midnight…walk to the kitchen…switch off the lights you left on…latch the door you left open…forget to drink water. Come back to bed thirsty again! tweet


Difference between school and life? School teaches you lessons and then gives you a test. Life gives you a test and you learn the lessons. tweet


Opportunities are like sunsets. If you wait too long, you miss them. ~William Arthur Ward tweet


I may look calm but in my mind I’ve killed you three times. tweet


You can’t be a good example then you’ll just have to be a horrible warning. tweet


My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do. tweet


Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he’ll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he’ll have to touch it to be sure. ~Murphy’s Law tweet


No regrets in life. Just lessons learned. tweet


There is a lesson in almost everything that you do, and getting the lesson is how you move forward. It is how you enrich your spirit. tweet


Speak when you are angry – and you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret. ~Laurence J.Peter tweet


Do not let the behavior others destroy your inner peace. ~Dalai Lama tweet


If you hang out with chickens, you’re going to cluck and if you hang out with eagles, you’re going to fly. ~Dr.Steve Maraboli tweet


Three stages of life:
2. What the fuck is this
3. Death tweet


You’ll never know if you can fly, unless you take the risk of falling. ~Nightwing tweet


Related: Life Quotes

Sarcastic quotes on life facts


If you don’t want a sarcastic answer, don’t ask a stupid question. tweet


If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you. ~Steven Wright tweet


If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. tweet


People who reply to my sarcasm with sarcasm are my favorite. tweet


Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth. tweet


If I had just one hour left to live, I’d spend it in Math class…it never ends. tweet


If you allow people to make more withdrawals than deposits in your life, you will be out of balance and in the negative. Know when to close the account. tweet


The road to success is always under construction. tweet


Always turn a negative situation into a positive situation. ~Michael Jordan tweet


Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable. ~Mark Twain tweet


Sarcastic quotes about relationships


If she replies to your sarcasm with sarcasm instead of getting offended…she’s a keeper. tweet


A weak man can’t love a strong woman. He won’t know what to do with her. tweet


If you are cooler than me, would that make me hotter than you? tweet


Real men make your panties wet, not your eyes. tweet


Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it’s probably shit. tweet


If you’re in a relationship & all you do is cry everyday. You need to stop and ask yourself, am I dating a human or an onion. tweet


The awkward moment when you’re that one friend who always gives relationship advice but is still single. tweet


Have you ever had those days when you are holding a stick and everybody looks like a pinata? tweet


Love is a lot like a toothache. It doesn’t show up on X-ray but you know it’s there. tweet


I love my relationship with my bed. No commitment needed. We just sleep together every night. tweet


Relationships are like a walk in the park. ~Jurassic Park tweet


Who wears the pants in our relationship? We prefer it when neither of us are wearing pants. tweet


As a man in a relationship, you have a choice: you can be right or you can be happy. ~Ralphie May tweet


Don’t worry about hurting my feelings because I guarantee you not one bit of my self esteem is tied up in your acceptance. tweet


A man has two options in a relationship: Either stand up and be the man she needs or sit down, so she can see the man behind you. tweet


I hide behind sarcasm because telling you to go fuck yourself is considered rude in most social situations. tweet


Relationship is not about AGE, not about DISTANCE, not about communicating every moment of everyday. What’s more important is having TRUST of girl to her man and the LOYALTY of man to his girl. tweet


More: Relationship Quotes

Sarcastic quotes about friends


Real friends don’t get offended when you insult them. They smile and call you something even more offensive. tweet


Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean…but the true ones stay, like an octopus on your face. tweet


Best friends don’t care if your house is clean. They are if you have wine. tweet


Fake friends are around when they think you’re cool. True friends are around even when they think you’re fool. tweet


It’s hard to find a friend who’s cute, loving, generous, sexy, caring, and smart. My advice to y’all is, don’t lose me. tweet


Friendship must be built on a solid foundation of alcohol, sarcasm, inappropriateness and shenanigans. tweet


I look back at some of the stupidest stuff we’ve done and think, this is why we’re best friends. tweet


Friends are like boobs. Some are big. Some are small. Some are real. Some are fake. tweet


Friends are the bacon bits in the salad bowl of life. tweet


Dear fake friends,
First of all, you should know, I am typing this with my middle finger!! tweet


Good friends don’t let you do stupid things…alone. tweet


A good friend will try to bail you out of jail. A best friend will be in a cell next to you, saying, “Damn, that was fun!” tweet


Only real friends tell you when your face is dirty. tweet


Related: Friendship Quotes

Sarcastic quotes about work


I wake up with a good attitude every day. Then idiots happen. tweet


Interviewer: So, tell me about yourself.
Me: I’d rather not..I kinda want this job. tweet


I can explain it for you but I can’t understand it for you. tweet


The reward for good work is more work. tweet


I wasn’t always this sarcastic. It took me many years of dealing with assholes to become this good at it. tweet


I use sarcasm at work, because slapping the shit out of someone is frowned upon by management. tweet


The hardest job in the world is having to listen to you complain about having the hardest job in the world. tweet


All positions for annoying people in my life have been filled. Applicants need not apply. Thank you. tweet


My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work. tweet


I grew up living paycheck to paycheck, but through hard work and perseverance I now live direct deposit to direct deposit. tweet



I hope you enjoyed our gathered collection of the sarcastic quotes. Please share with your friends on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest. Thanks for reading!

What is your sarcasm saying? Would you like to add another one here? Share in the comments!

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