Initial meet-and-greet can be nerve-wracking. You can’t help the burning desire to make an excellent first impression, especially after spending a considerable amount of resources on buying a wife online from an online dating service.
While anticipating your first date, you’d need a little preparation as there are a series of questions you should never ask them. These questions can ruin your chances of creating a longer-lasting bond with them.
One wrong question can push you off their radar, fizzling whatever chemistry you may have developed. We understand that you’re excited and eager to hit it off with your date. You may also want to probe into personal questions to ascertain whether you’re compatible, but now, take a chill pill. Asking personal and sensitive questions on a first date can make you come across as being intrusive.
Getting to know someone new is like peeling an onion bulb. It’s done one-step and one question at a time until you gradually unveil its inner beauty. And no, we’re not asking you to shy away from questions that might arouse controversy, but there are some you shouldn’t ask your date about right away. Below is a list of questions you should steer clear of to avoid having an awkward first meeting:
1. You’ve Got a Lovely Personality. How Are You Not Taken Yet?
You might have thrown this into the mix to flatter your date, but as harmless as this question may sound to you, it sends the wrong signal to your date. It is offensive. It sounds like you’re insinuating that being single is a crime. It also points out that you think they have a fault, and that that’s probably why they are still available.
There are tons of reasons why people stay out of relationships. It could be that they are on a self-discovery path, haven’t found one with a personality to complement theirs, or their past relationship created a wound they haven’t wholly healed from. But this is not for you to deduce.
2. How Many People Have You Slept With?
You may not have asked this question intending to judge them, but asking your date about their body count implies otherwise. It insinuates you think they may be slutty and you’re on the lookout against contracting STIs. Except you have established a good rapport and best of friends with one, it’s never appropriate to ask this.
How many people they have shared their beds with isn’t information you need to know at the first meeting. It’s not an interrogatory session. What it only achieves is putting your date in the spotlight, making them potentially defensive to moving forward.
3. Can You Hook Me Up With Your Friend?
This is one of the absolute worst first date questions. Let’s assume your date was trying to show you a clip on their phone, and you catch a glimpse of their friend. While they may look distracted, but trust me, they are probably observing you.
Zooming in to have a closer look with a big grin says you find their friend attractive. Asking if you could meet the person makes you seem like a jerk. If anything, you would have certainly killed the possibility of a second date. It’s best to act like you noticed nothing and if you must compliment, do that with a neutral tone.
4. What Transpired Between You and Your Ex?
You should know that first dates are basically about an introduction. Their previous relationship is a personal topic and personal questions like these are some of the topics to avoid on a first date. If it comes up naturally in your convo, that’s fine. However, it’s safer to let this slide on your first meeting so you can have a hitch-free conversation.
5. How Much Do You Earn?
Not only is asking about a stranger’s earnings rude, but it is also ill-mannered. You can ask what they do for a living but it’s never okay to ask about their paycheck on a first date. You don’t want to come across as a gold digger, do you?
Leave that information till after wedlock or when you’ve reached a reasonable level of intimacy in your relationship. Everyone wants to find a partner who fits in financially. However, asking how much they earn makes you look mercenary; like you only want to be involved with them for what you can benefit from them.
6. Where Do You See This Relationship Heading?
This is a weighty question and will put your date on edge. Sure, you don’t want to waste more of your precious time if the date doesn’t yield positive results, but don’t create awkward tension by asking this question. Asking about the possibility of a long-term relationship on a first date makes you look like you are in haste and desperate to get off the singles’ club.
As mentioned earlier, knowing a person is like peeling an onion, layer after layer. It would be best if you gave it some time. You’ll look impatient if you try getting a definite answer right at that spot, and that’s not an attractive virtue.
7. What Are You Expecting in a Relationship?
This is a great question to ask, but never on the first date. Popping up this question will tell your date that you’d tune yourself to fit their description so they can invest emotionally. They may not be able to know your actual personality beneath the “Mr/ Mrs perfect” mask you’ve put on.
You need no rush to find out what they think. If everything goes well, you’ll get a second date, probably a third and more. After you’ve gone out a couple of times, you can then ask this question.
8. Why Do You Look Different From Your Profile Picture?
This is one of the worst first date questions. Even if you order brides online and are shocked at the contrast between their profile picture and reality, do not mention it. You’d be putting them on their heels, running away from you.
In the same light, if you think they are overly dressed or wearing too much make-up, it’s best to not mention it. And if you don’t see anything to compliment them about, it’s better to not say anything at all.
Remember: you go on a date aiming towards finding a partner. It should feel like adorable banter instead of some interview for a position in an office. Let your conversations flow swiftly. Remember to refrain from the topics mentioned above to avoid on the first date. The best questions that spark witty conversations on a first date are questions about their passions and interests.
Jamie is an online dating coach. For over 15 years, he has steered people towards love, finding wives online, strengthening relationships, and bringing back the spark to dying marriages.
He also organizes courses to help people stay afloat on modern dating. Reach out to Jamie on YourMailOrderBride to help yourself through the minefield of dating and find a wife online.