Staying positive during a divorce isn’t easy if one or both spouses are resentful, bitter or shut down. These attitudes only create more pain and prevent healing from taking place. Practicing self-care strategies while going through a marriage breakup allows the process and partners to move forward with ease and lightness.
Accepting the End of a Marriage
When two people take a vow of marriage, they usually do so with an intention of staying together for the rest of their lives. But if the two partners’ lives diverge into different directions, creating disharmony in the relationship that can’t be resolved, it makes sense for the health and well-being of all involved if the marriage agreement is dissolved. This can be difficult to accept if one or both partners are programmed to believe that the end of a marriage is a failure.
Mistakes and failures are a part of life and instead of being viewed negatively, they can be seen as important ways to learn and grow. Getting past mistakes involves seeing the gift in all of life’s experiences. This perspective helps people to stay positive during a divorce. Acceptance is the first step in this process; it brings relief and peace.
Acceptance doesn’t mean a person likes what is happening, but they don’t resist it or struggle against it. They stop blaming themselves or others. They let go of the past and move into the present moment. This supports them to heal and move towards creating a happier future. Here are some ways to practice acceptance during a divorce.
- Know that you did the best you could in your circumstances.
- Accept your partner did the best they could given their background.
- Forgive your partner and release resentment.
- Acknowledge all feelings and process emotions as they arise.
- Focus on the lessons and gifts received from the relationship.
- Trust that you are bigger than the circumstances of your life.
Acceptance removes a burdensome weight allowing people to move forward freely and more joyfully.
Stay in the Present Moment
Ruminating over the past, fantasizing about what could have been, or fearing the future is the opposite of staying positive. It takes a person out of the present moment where healing happens. Self-care involves being proactive with current circumstances. If a person’s energy is scattered in the past or future they are less able to handle challenging situations right in front of them, like going through a marriage breakup.
Catching the mind when it wanders away from the here and now is a helpful way to move into the present moment. Taking a deep breath and using all the senses to notice the surrounding environment anchors a person into current reality. From this place, emotions can be processed and released, positive solutions can be found, and a deepened understanding of the spiritual purpose of the relationship can arise.
Practice Self-love with Nurturing and Pampering
You have to love yourself because no amount of love from others is sufficient to fill the yearning that your soul requires from you. ~Dodinsky
Once a person has accepted the end of their marriage and is living in the present moment, it becomes easier to practice self-care strategies such as self-love, nurturing and pampering. All of which help a person to stay positive during a divorce.
Some believe that when a love relationship ends, the love ends too. The love exchanged between two people may cease, but love exists within each individual and can be brought forth at any time. All that is required is to tune into the feeling of love inside. Reflecting on the love for a person, animal, nature, God, or any uplifting situation can evoke loving feelings. This loving vibration can be focused on and used to soothe pain and loneliness and evoke feelings of inner joy and happiness.
When change occurs, such as going through a marriage breakup, it can be very soothing to the mind and body to nurture oneself with nutritious foods, relaxing time spent in nature, or the company of good friends. Pampering oneself with a spa treatment, massage, or weekend away can be a wonderful act of self-love.
Think of as may self-care strategies as possible to nurture, love and pamper your self on a daily basis. This will go a long way to help you stay positive during the divorce.